one of the biggest milestones we went through together was me getting married. neither Bunz nor i had really ever been around kids before, so we were a little apprehensive about how this would turn out. i mean he was 11 years old and meeting a child, really, for the first time. i was never worried about Bunz hurting one of the children intentionally, but hey, he was a big boy and i didn't know how the kids would react or if they might be scared of him. but i always knew, even though he looked tough on the outside, he was as big of a softie on the inside that you'd ever meet.
needless to say, the transition went smoothly, the kids fell in love with Bunz - who wouldn't really?! - and life was just good. colin loved to pour Bunz's food for him and have Bunz lay with him in his bed at night. julia liked to dress Bunz up in fairy and princess outfits (i WISH i could find those pictures). and Bunz loved every minute of him. though he loved his life with me, Bunz was a family man, and now he had a family.
i love this one because you can barely see his little head
poking in, trying to get in the picture....
family life was good until the day that Bunz got sick. he woke up and something just wasn't right. his left eye was droppy and he was making a strange wheezing sound. i took him in immediately and it appeared he had a stroke or seizure of some sort, but the bigger question was 'what caused it'?
weeks of testing and trips to the vet revealed that his eye was able to self-regenerate, but that his larnyx was paralyzed. (they described it to me as a set of double doors in your throat that lets air come in, but blocks bad stuff from going down). so we were faced with the decision of surgery - the surgery was expensive and about 25% of animals that do it have serious if not life threatening complications. if we didn't go through with the surgery, it was highly likely that he'd end up in a respiratory emergency since he couldn't breath properly. a gut wrenching decision was made, we were going to do the surgery.
when i picked Bunz up from the surgery, i knew in my gut something wasn't right. they told me he was lethargic from the anesthesia but this was extreme. it took me 4 hours to get him out of the car in my driveway. i sat with him the whole time, until i finally called a dear friend kate wilson, who came over and helped me carry him inside. once settled on his favorite bed, i felt better, and figured he just needed to rest.
after watching him sleep peacefully for a bit, i ran out for 30 minutes to grab some food, a decision i'll question and wonder 'what if' for the rest of my life. when i came home, Bunz had aspirated - meaning he threw up and because his throat was now unable to keep 'the bad things out' everything went right back down to places in his body it shouldn't go. his lungs filled with fluid - pneumonia. we rushed back to the emergency vet...AGAIN.
the first few days, they told me Bunz seemed to be getting better, at least feeling better. and then, one day he started having strange complications again so they suggested an ultrasound. what they found broke my heart into a thousand pieces. Bunz had a heart tumor. as sad as i was, it really didn't surprise me that it was his heart that was affected - a heart that big, with so much love to give, was bound to get tired and worn out at some point.
we made plans for Bunz to come home overnight and for a vet to come the next morning so he could die in the comfort of his own bed, with the people he loved so dearly. unfortunately, the vet called back and he was deteriorating quickly - i needed to come in myself and do the job now. so that's where it ended, just me and bunz, together, the same as it all started.
the day Bunz died, a part of me died too. i was so utterly lost and heartbroken, i honestly didn't know if i could ever recover. i missed him insanely and didn't like being in my own house, where i was always looking at his empty bed, expecting him to come running around a corner to cover me in kisses. he was the most special boy who ever lived, and not having him around was too much to bare.
despite the pain, i had to find a way to get myself out of this funk. so that's when i started volunteering at animal control, a kill shelter, usually filled with pits and pit mixes, many of whom don't make it out alive. i vowed to save every pit bull i could, in memory and in honor of my Bunz.
so where one chapter ended, the new chapter of my love and life of rescue began.
today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my best friend, my son, Bunz. i think he'd be proud of the work i've done, and of the dogs i've saved. and i'll keep trying to save these dogs and to change people's minds about them for as long as i possibly can, no matter what it takes.
God bless you Bunz - thank you for an amazing 13 years. and thank you for inspiring me to be a better person. see you at the Rainbow Bridge, my friend. i'm sure you'll still be wearing your shades!
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